"X" Amount of Time and Energy

I can tell that my blogging will go in fits and spurts. Sometimes I am flooded with new insights and a desire to communicate, and other times I am filled with non-blog joys and struggles. On one hand, I want to write about things that God has taught me in the past... things I have never put down on paper and wish to preserve for myself and others. On the other hand, there is a stagnancy that comes from dwelling on the past and trying to re-experience it. What is God doing in my life NOW? If I look at the answer to this question, there is freshness. If I burden myself with trying to re-create old experiences, though I think there is a time for that, I can stunt the current work of grace God wishes to perform in my life (well, I can never truly stunt what God is doing... that is just what it feels like from my end of the experience).

One thing I am aware of lately, is that the Spirit never teaches me the exact same thing, in the same way, twice. As Aslan says in Prince Caspian (for those who don't know, Aslan represents, though not perfectly, Jesus) "things never happen the same way twice." Sometimes I expect God to keep meeting me the same way He once did, but what HE wants to do is meet me in a new and different way, progressing me forward in my knowledge of Him.

What is He teaching me NOW? It's in process, and I'm not fully able to articulate it, but it has to do with a "both/and" of God's character and the way that it plays out in my life. Dr. Ray Ortland Jr. was my pastor in Augusta, GA (early in my Christian walk), and he explained that great depth of knowledge of the character of God is revealed whenever we encounter a "both/and." This means that God is BOTH merciful, AND just for example. Or, BOTH the Lion, AND the Lamb. I love to encounter such tensions as I study the Bible, because in delving into them, I discover more about Him.

As I begin to write about my current "both/and" struggle, I go back to the title of this blog and recall the reason I have trouble putting my thoughts into words. Part of the reason, is the thoughts are still "in process". God has not taught me enough about the area I'm contemplating to put it into words (and that's OK Vicki, by golly, that's OK!). And part of the reason is reality... I have "X" amount of time and energy. And right now, I'm going to go watch a movie with my husband! Pray I will do well putting the right priorities first:).

So look out for whatever insights God sends my way about that and other "grace word pictures" (like part 2 of my "Jordan River" writing), whenever I get there!