A practical example of how God untangles my sin

As a person who loves lists, diagrams, and organization, I love to have things wrapped up in a neat little package (with a bow on top). Of course, one cannot wrap up the workings of God quite so neatly, but let me try to describe a recent/current example of HOW God, through the ministry of the Holy Spirit, is working in my life. I hope to flesh out how the Holy Spirit, and my obedience to what He teaches me, untangles the power of sin in a specific instance in my life.

If you did not read my entry "The Rainbow" (see August 2009), you need to read it first to understand this story:

God was gracious to me last week (through the "grace word picture" of the rainbow) and reminded me of his tender care for me, His long-suffering toward me when I am disobedient, and His desire that I be in relationship with Him. He wants me to turn toward Him and seek His face. He does not desire that I distance myself from Him and look the other way.

In the past few months, I noticed that when I was disciplining one of the twins (2 1/2 years old), she would not give me eye-contact. She would not seek my face but would turn away, fearing my anger. God convicted me that I had not been gentle enough with her, and that relationship WITH her should be my primary focus, even in times when her actions require that I discipline her. So NOW, when she is disobedient or disrespectful, I hear (no, not audibly!) the Holy Spirit's reminder that God has been patient with ME, so I should in turn be patient with HER. He patiently seeks MY face, so I should patiently seek HER face. So I back off and wait until she can look at me with trust in her eyes, and THEN give her instructions or words of discipline. I am empowered to be able to love her, rather than just feeling the need to express anger in response to her actions. The Spirit prompts me to lay down my desire to express anger, calls me to submit in humility, and is renewing a relationship of trust between the two of us.

Will I mess up? Yes, of course. I'm sure there will be many times when I walk in the flesh, and therefore do not hear the Holy Spirit at all. But I know that "better is one day in His courts than a thousand elsewhere (Psalm 84:10)." I know that He will be faithful to seek my face and incline my heart to pursue Him. It is my prayer that God will work through me so that as my children learn to love and trust me, they will ultimately grow to love and trust HIM.