HEAV Conference "Snippits"

I will, by the way, not blog entirely on the subject of word pictures. I am working on one right now, but it is taking a little bit of time. So let me start with some "snippits" from the Home Education Association of Virginia's conference that I attended this weekend. It was a couple of days of encouragement for me, and information overload as well (which I like). A FEW things of impact were:

• One of the Boyer (awesome family with 14 children) children had pondered what caused the children of some of their like-minded friends to fall away from close relationship with the family and the Lord when they left home, while others did not. Some of these families had home educated, and others had used traditional schooling, but all were following Christ and trying to train their children up in His ways. The children of some families had "jumped ship" after leaving home, while others remained close to their families and devoted to Christ. He thought a major contributor to determining the outcome is whether the parent took GENUINE delight in their kids. Kids know whether their parents WANT to be with them. Do I find daily JOY being with my children? They will sense it. They will never leave a place where they are genuinely loved and their needs are satisfied. Or, do I spend my days just trying to get through my to-do list, rushing the children along, so that I can have some time to myself at the end of the day? Pondering these questions was and is a challenge to me. I'll tell you what though, there has been so much joy being with the children this week!
• From Karin Morgan (mother of 11), toddlers should not be expected to play (very much) without structure. I should not just expect the twins (2 1/2) to be out of the way while I work with Keelin. This will end in strife and we will accomplish little. Rather, they should be trained to stay in a certain area, doing a simple activity, for a period of time. It has worked so well this week. I've implemented some "alone" time for them. I set the timer for 15 minutes and Carys is expected to stay with a box of toys, and Élise is to stay in a different room working on puzzles. When the timer goes off, they switch stations, and spend another 15 minutes at the new station. I discipline/train them if they try to do otherwise. I was able to spend quality time with Keelin with little interruption, and the toddlers were enjoying some time without conflict while working on their attention spans. "Better is dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife" Proverbs 17:1.
• Also from Karin, the order of priority in character training is obedience, respect, and self-control. A fun game (that you then carry-over to real-life) is "call and command." Karin encouraged us to separate a call to our children, from a command. When a child's name is called by Mom, the child is to come to her, look her in the eyes and say "yes Mom?" Then Mom gives the child a command such as "please go take out the trash," or in the case of our game, "please pretend you just ate a poison apple and you are falling asleep." The child answers "Yes, Mom," and goes to complete the task. Separating call from command teaches respect, obedience, and self-control. The game helps train them in a fun way. The house is already more peaceful as a result.
• Karin also said that when all else fails, just scrap the plan. When we are all having a bad day, it is better to just let the plans go by the wayside, and take the pressure off of everyone. We are not perfect, and our children are not either.
• A common theme I heard when listening to the advice of these large families, is that it is so good for our children to learn that they are an important part of a bigger whole. Their lives are not their own. Train them to be responsible, and expect them to serve others. Work as a family unit, and avoid the way of the world in which children cry out "here I am now, entertain me!" The older Boyer children taught a younger sibling to sing the "I am not the center of the world" song whenever she was acting selfish.
• Work is a gift. It was in the garden BEFORE the fall. Work is worship. You have to do it anyway, why not enjoy it?
• Teach children lines of authority. God, then Father, then Mother, then other persons of authority (such as teachers), then children.
  
• Moms leave home too much (ME!) Take the time to train in the household, young children benefit greatly from structure and routine. Much character training takes place in the home.
  
• Scripture first! Matt. 6:33. Make sure our first priority is truly accomplished. Then He will help us accomplish all else.

Those are just a few of the tidbits from the conference that I found impacting. It was amazing to be with thousands and thousands of other home educators, to see their sweet children (wow, were they well-behaved!) and glean pearls of wisdom from those who have gone before, and done so well.