Too long for a status update...

This impacting quote is too long for a Facebook status update, so allow me to share here:

Because you say I am a sinner, I will be righteous and saved... I fly to Christ who has given himself for my sins. Therefore, Satan, you will not prevail against me when you try to terrify me by telling me how great my sins are... On the contrary, when you say I am a sinner, you give me armor and a weapon against yourself... for Christ died for sinners... You do not terrify me but comfort me immeasurably.
Martin Luther

Sheep don't need fences

Last week in my Sunday school class, we were studying John 10. When contemplating the difference between sheep and goats, I was struck by the difference in their need for fences. A goat is independent, likes to be alone, and goes it's own way. One who raises goats would know that in order to keep them together, you would HAVE to fence them in. Sheep behave differently. They prefer to be with other sheep in their flock, and they follow the voice of their shepherd. Sheep in the open country to not need fences to contain them, they need only the voice and leading of their shepherd.

This applies to me well when I struggle spiritually. When God convicts me of a sin, I initially receive the conviction with joy and have delight in repentance. Soon after however, my tendency is to try to maintain obedience to this conviction by erecting for myself a fence- a law or a boundry. What happens then is that I take my eyes off of my shepherd, and I start looking at my fence. The accuser lies in wait, and takes advantage of me when I look away from my Saviour. He tries to sideline my faith by causing me to have guilt, fear, and self-burden.

But praise be to God, my remedy is right before me! He is my Shepherd, who gently reassures my that "there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)," and who "leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake (Psalm 23:3)." I have to keep on preaching the Gospel to myself as I listen to the voice of my Shepherd. I'll seek to "keep my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith(Hebrews 2:2).

Resources to teach children Biblical Truth

I love making lists! I was just thinking of sharing this list with a friend and decided to do a blog post instead. Here are my very favorite resources for teaching children Biblical truth:

Bibles-

The Jesus Storybook Bible!!!- by Sally Lloyd-Jones. Amazing narrative. Beautiful illustrations by Jago. Every story from Creation to Revelation show the connection to Christ. An essential for children and adults too!

The Child's Story Bible- Catherine F. Vos. I love this Bible as well. Vos fleshes out the stories so they pop with life. Requires some level of maturity to understand, when compared with my first Bible recommendation (ie. is for a slightly older child).

Education-

First Catechism - Teaching Children Bible Truths- Great Commission Publications.
Easy to use tool for child to use when memorizing their First Catechism. Only costs a couple of dollars on the GCP website.

Big Truths for Little Kids- Susan Hunt. Great stories which apply the truths contained in the catechism questions. The stories do a great job describing how the Holy Spirit teaches the heart.

My ABC Bible Verses- Susan Hunt. A verse with a story of application for every letter in the alphabet. Appropriate to begin this book with a 2 or 3 year-old child (and keep using as they grow).

Storybooks-

The Chronicles of Narnia- C.S. Lewis. I started reading the 7-book series to my oldest when she was 4 and she absolutely eats it up. Dense with truth generally in allegorical form. Aslan represents (imperfectly, of course!) Jesus, and the White Witch represents Satan. The stories (along with Bible study) have given our child a very clear understanding of good versus evil. I believe they are typically recommended reading for about fifth-graders on up.

Fool Moon Rising- Kristi and T. Lively Fluharty. Sweet little book about how we are not to be makers of glory, but reflectors (as the moon reflects the sun's light, we are to reflect the light of Christ).

The Priest with Dirty Clothes- R.C. Sproul. A story that illustrates how we are made acceptable to God through Christ's righteousness- in a way that a child can understand.

A Parable About the King- Beth Moore. A princess runs away from home- a story about the forgiveness of her Father.

One Wintry Night- Ruth Bell Graham. A woman tells the Christmas story to a boy visitor- beginning with Creation and showing how the whole Bible is a story about the Rescuer who was born on Christmas.

Beautiful poem about the blessing of a thorn

Martha Snell Nicholson (a "mendicant" is a beggar):

I stood a mendicant of God before His royal throne
And begged him for one priceless gift, which I could call my own.
I took the gift from out His hand, but as I would depart
I cried, "But Lord this is a thorn and it has pierced my heart.
This is a strange, a hurtful gift, which Thou hast given me."
He said, "My child, I give good gifts and gave My best to thee."
I took it home and though at first the cruel thorn hurt sore,
As long years passed I learned at last to love it more and more.
I learned He never gives a thorn without this added grace,
He takes the thorn to pin aside the veil which hides His face.

Satan wins by making us comfortable

I was recently listening to an old John Piper sermon (highly recommended: Christ in Combat- Defense by the Spirit," March 18, 1984). He stated "People sometimes ask why, if Satan is real, we don't see more demon possession and exorcisms in America. I have an idea. Satan holds American Christianity so tightly in the vice-grip of comfort and wealth that he's not about to tip his hand with too much demonic tomfoolery."

As a Christian, I am often quick to associate various pleasures with blessing from God. But this statement gives me pause and rings with truth. How many of my sins with which I struggle are related to comfort and security? Satan could be pleased no more than when I am too comfortable to seek the face of God. Are we resting with tummies full and faces smiling as we bask in worldly pleasures?

Did our heroes of the Bible seek God's face out of positions of comfort, or did they see God through hardship? John the Baptist lived in the desert and ate a diet of locusts and honey (AND wore an itchy robe all the time!) Paul was flogged, shipwrecked, imprisoned, and often cold and hungry. Joseph was sold by those he loved into slavery. The list goes on and on. I can't in fact, think of a single Bible hero who had it easy. Can you? And these people, who were willing to trust in the Lord while they endured difficulties, were the ones he saw fit to use for his good purposes.

I pray (with thankfulness because I know he WILL!) that as I lay down my "right/need" for pleasures that are worldly, God will continue to amaze me with his grace.

Joy and delight in our children

Today, as I was walking by a strip mall, I saw a mother with her teenage daughters laughing and walking arm-in-arm as they discussed the similarities between Thai and Chinese food. Their joy in each other struck me, as I so rarely see the same among teens and their Moms. It reminded me of a statement made by a son of Rick and Marilyn Boyer, who noticed that when parents "took genuine delight in their children," the children were less likely to stray from close relationship with family and the Lord when they grew up. This mother was obviously taking genuine delight in her girls, and their relationship and joy in it was flourishing. I suspected that these daughters would have little motivation to turn their backs on their mother and go their own rebellious ways.

In one of my Bible studies, we are learning about some of the ramifications of our God being a "happy" God, who takes infinite delight and joy in His Son. Because of His Son's sacrifice on the cross for my sins, He now takes infinite delight in ME!

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet your with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

(I can't get rid of the indent now on this dumb word processor so bear with me, indented!)

My Lord rejoices over me with singing! He is happy because I am His!

Likewise, I want my children to know that I am happy that they are "mine." I pray for the strength and ability to take genuine delight in them, even when they are challenging, and my life seems really hard. It is so easy to flip into selfish-mode and to focus on all the wrong things. I pray that God would give me supernatural joy as I go through the ups and downs of life with them, and that they would always feel that my presence is one of joy and delight in them. I pray that ultimately, their hearts would be inclined to His, and that they would understand that true fullness of joy is only in Him.

Accepting my less-than-perfect place

You would think the only thing I am learning right now is how to deal with anger! Not so, but perhaps it is an easy and relevant subject for me to write about.

I am reading "A Praying Life" by Paul Miller, and he sheds some helpful insight on sins of the self-will (including anger):

“... when I ACCEPT the place that God has given me- in traffic, a checkout line,
or with a whining child- I open a small door from my soul to God.” He
later goes on to say “The great struggle of my life is not trying to
discern God’s will; it is trying to discern and then disown my own. Once I see
that, then prayer flows. I have to be praying because I’m no longer in charge.
Either I see all of life as a gift, or I demand that life have a certain look to
it.”

So often when I am angry, it is because my own self-will/selfish desire is not met. When I identify this, my required response is to see that I have a self-will, and disown it (involving confession and repentance). I have to accept that life does not have that certain look that I demand of it. Then grace flows.

We DO what we BELIEVE

I am going to restate in a different way what I wrote about in "A practical example of how God untangles my sin." This is just a continuation of what God is teaching me through the illustration of "The Rainbow" (August post).

I believe there is truth to the statement that "we do what we believe." Our actions are indicators of what we think will bring us the greatest happiness or what we think beneficial for others.

I am so thankful to God for reminding me that He is slow to anger and abounding in love. He does not treat me as my sins deserve, because my punishment has fully fallen upon His Son. He has showed me that anger toward my children is not beneficial to them. It sounds obvious... that expressed anger is not good. But do you know I actually believed on some level that anger was a necessary component of my discipline toward my children. I'm not talking about violent levels of anger- I'm just talking about a raised voice with a cutting-edge to it, or a glaring look of the eye. I thought "how else will they really know that what they have done is unacceptable?" When I did try to control my anger toward my children, it was difficult to not get upset... in my flesh I was unable. I knew on some level that I needed, at least, restrained anger, but I couldn't help but continue to feel angry. I was still BELIEVING that some degree of anger was necessary for the good of my children. I didn't really realize I believed this, but after what God has taught me through "The Rainbow," I see I believe differently.

Now, believing that God fully punished Christ for my sin, removing His anger from me, I am empowered to treat my children with long-suffering and compassion when they sin. The point here is that I now BELIEVE my anger is harmful and I grasp this aspect of the Gospel more fully. Now I BELIEVE that patience with my children causes them to seek my face and ultimately seek Him. And since I BELIEVE it, it is actually easier to DO it. I don't find myself feeling out-of-control when my kids disobey. I remember God's teaching and find myself responding with compassion and patience. My little one's will look in my eyes now!

In our Bible study this morning we discussed how every sin we commit because we fail to believe the Gospel at some point. EVERY sin. I pray I would understand the facets of the Gospel more deeply, and that God will continue to strip the power of my every sin.

Sunlight- thoughts on another benefit

I was just listening to an advertisement (for a Purity Products Vitamin D supplement) on the radio that got me thinking. Vitamin D is a unique substance because our bodies use sunlight to synthesize it for use in our body's cells. Apparently, our bodies produce around 20,000 IU's of Vitamin D in 20 minutes of exposure to direct sunlight. Persons that work in the sun, such as roofers and lifeguards, have high levels of Vitamin D. Most of the rest of us apparently, are running a bit low.

There is debate about how many IU's of Vitamin D we need daily for optimal function. Of course, the advertisement I was listening to was trying to sell a supplement, so I have to take their recommendations with a "grain of salt." It seems that levels that are greater than around 50,000 IU's per day offer the best health benefits, including improved blood pressure, less "ache and pain," and most notably to me, a "sense of well-being."

The advertisement offered statistics on "sense of well-being": those closer to the equator have better moods than those closer to the poles. How many times have we heard of problems with lack of light causing things like seasonal affective disorder? I've heard statistics that suicide rates are highest in places like Seattle and Dublin, and those places are certainly low on the sun-continuum. And when I think of folks in tropical places, I usually envision great big smiles on their faces. It seems actual sunlight is one key to happiness and health.

The creativity of God in designing us to need physical light, by which we can receive physical joy and health, makes me think of deeper meanings God has for us when we consider LIGHT. As we NEED physical light to be healthy and have well-being, we NEED Christ to have fullness of joy and life (here and eternally) to the fullest.

"...the people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned." Matthew 4:16

Christ is the light, and there are benefits of walking in the light:

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1:7

Live as children of light (for the fruit of light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Ephesians 5:9-10

I'm sure there are many a sermon preaching on "the light," but it is beyond my intention to write one! But I just love to look at how God so often gives us tangible references to Him in our everyday world. We need the Word to understand them, but creation cries out and points clearly to Him, if we would have eyes to see and ears to hear.

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Psalm 19: 1-3

And:

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. Romans 1:20

May I seek His face as my source of joy, and not forget to get some sun!

A practical example of how God untangles my sin

As a person who loves lists, diagrams, and organization, I love to have things wrapped up in a neat little package (with a bow on top). Of course, one cannot wrap up the workings of God quite so neatly, but let me try to describe a recent/current example of HOW God, through the ministry of the Holy Spirit, is working in my life. I hope to flesh out how the Holy Spirit, and my obedience to what He teaches me, untangles the power of sin in a specific instance in my life.

If you did not read my entry "The Rainbow" (see August 2009), you need to read it first to understand this story:

God was gracious to me last week (through the "grace word picture" of the rainbow) and reminded me of his tender care for me, His long-suffering toward me when I am disobedient, and His desire that I be in relationship with Him. He wants me to turn toward Him and seek His face. He does not desire that I distance myself from Him and look the other way.

In the past few months, I noticed that when I was disciplining one of the twins (2 1/2 years old), she would not give me eye-contact. She would not seek my face but would turn away, fearing my anger. God convicted me that I had not been gentle enough with her, and that relationship WITH her should be my primary focus, even in times when her actions require that I discipline her. So NOW, when she is disobedient or disrespectful, I hear (no, not audibly!) the Holy Spirit's reminder that God has been patient with ME, so I should in turn be patient with HER. He patiently seeks MY face, so I should patiently seek HER face. So I back off and wait until she can look at me with trust in her eyes, and THEN give her instructions or words of discipline. I am empowered to be able to love her, rather than just feeling the need to express anger in response to her actions. The Spirit prompts me to lay down my desire to express anger, calls me to submit in humility, and is renewing a relationship of trust between the two of us.

Will I mess up? Yes, of course. I'm sure there will be many times when I walk in the flesh, and therefore do not hear the Holy Spirit at all. But I know that "better is one day in His courts than a thousand elsewhere (Psalm 84:10)." I know that He will be faithful to seek my face and incline my heart to pursue Him. It is my prayer that God will work through me so that as my children learn to love and trust me, they will ultimately grow to love and trust HIM.

A New Season: K-1 Plans

Although we did not really take the summer off from our school schedule, we relaxed things a bit. Because we had twin 2-year olds to train and tend to throughout the day, we needed the structure of a schedule on the days we were at home. "Stations" worked well for us. I set up activities in different rooms with 15-minute timed rotations. This helped train the twins to work independently, and decreased the overall chaos level in the house. It also allowed me to have 1:1 time with each child (a rare thing for the younger ones in particular). Station activities included anything from "My Pretty Ponies" and puzzles for the twins, to playing in the sink. The oldest child worked on independent readers, workbook pages, and tying shoes (etc.). During the twins' nap, the oldest and I spent about an hour working on 1:1 lesson material.

Because I am excited about the new school season, I want to make a list of what we will be using, in general (for the K-1 child). You know how I LOVE to write lists (I should add that to my profile...)

For some reason there seems to be no underline feature on this thing, so I will just italicize book titles.

Phonics/Spelling - The Writing Road to Reading - Spaulding
Spelling Workout A- Modern Curriculum Press
Language- First Language Lessons- Jessie Wise
History- The Story of the World- Volume 1: Ancient Times- Susan Wise Bauer
Bible- First Catechism- Great Commission Publications
Big Truths for Little Kids and ABC Bible Verses- Susan Hunt
Kindergarten Learning About God- Positive Action Bible Curriculum
Class at Harvester Teaching Services and family life/devotions
Math- Math-U-See- Steve Demme
Science- Various sources, earth sciences and human body- Hidden Pond Nature Center classes
Spanish- Rosetta Stone
Art- Class at Harvester Teaching Services
Reading- We love books that are recommended by Sonlight- regular library visits

One more list. Right now we are reading:

Voyage of the Dawn Treader- Book 5 of the Narnia series by C.S. Lewis
Missionary Stories with the Millers- Mildred A. Martin
James Herriot's Treasurey for Children- James Herriot
My Father's Dragon- Ruth Stiles Gannett

Oh, and the oldest is now going to be responsible for maintaining a chore chart that includes earning star stickers for positive character traits (with associated Biblical principles). If she completes each chore for the day without parental reminder, she will earn a special sticker.

Now if we can just manage to potty train and keep up with the little ones while all this is going on, we'll be doing well. All by God's grace!

The Rainbow

This afternoon I had one of those days. The twins were beyond fussy and my tension level rose and rose as nothing I did solved the problem. After 4 1/2 hours of continuous fussing and crying, I was too angry to be able to read a bedtime story in love, so I passed the children to my husband and took off in the car. As I cried out to God, I confessed my inability to control my anger and by inability to have patience sufficient for my job of being a mother. I knew that God would meet me in some way and refresh me, but I was astounded by his faithfulness in the way he chose to reveal himself to me. As I rounded a turn, there was a rainbow right in front of me! I decided to drive straight to my special "mountain" (a big hill in Kingstowne) where I had been blessed by the Lord before (you'll hear that story whenever I get around to writing "The Jordan River - Part 2").

As I stood on my "mountain" with the glorious rainbow in full view , I knew God had something to teach me, and could feel my anger melting away as I understood the message. I recalled the promise of the Lord, from Genesis 9:12-16, after the great flood:

And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."

I considered that as angry as I felt at the sin of my child and as strong as my desire was to punish it, God had felt more anger at the sins of man, and had punished them by wiping them off the earth with the waters of the flood. BUT THEN, He promised NEVER again to do the same to the earth. Instead, the rainbow reminds me that Christ bore the full wrath of God's punishment for sin. All of His anger was directed toward Christ on the cross, Christ being punished out of love for me, that I would not have to bear God's wrath. So instead of wrath toward me, God extends forgiveness and long-suffering:

2 Peter 3:9b He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

How many times have I been so much more disobedient and stiff-necked than my child was today? Yet God does not treat me as my sins deserve; rather He is patient with me. His tender care draws me toward Him, leading me into repentance and strengthening my trust in His goodness and my desire to follow where He leads. By His grace, I pray I will be long-suffering in my care of my children, that I might encourage them to seek His loving and merciful face.

By the way, the rainbow in the picture is not the same one I saw today. I forgot to take a picture :(.

Cup of Need

I used to go through life looking for the next "mountain top" experience, and while mountains have a place, I've learned something different. Grace flows downhill. As Roy Hession states in his book "We Would See Jesus":

"Grace permits us to come (nay, demands that we come) as empty sinners to be blessed: empty of right feelings, good character and satisfactory record, with nothing to commend ourselves but our deep need, fully and frankly acknowledged. Then grace, being what it is, is drawn by that need to satisfy it, just as water is drawn to depth (by gravity) that it might fill it."

So I have begun to picture myself as a cup of need. The more I become aware that I am sinful and needy to the core, the easier this becomes. When I am NOT walking by faith and trusting God to meet my needs and fill me, I fill up my "need cup" with idols that temporarily satisfy me... I seek selfish comfort pleasures, put my focus on ME and not others. The list goes on (and on, and on, and on!) But, when I admit my need and and confess the sins that would tend to block the flow of God's grace meeting my need in HIS way, grace does what it naturally seeks to do, and fills me.

Hession goes on to say (after also revealing more insights that I did not quote):

"The struggle, of course, is to believe it and to be willing to be but empty sinners to the end of our days, that grace may continue to match our needs."

So be the cup! Admit my need. I can't do it on my own and only distance myself from the Father when I try to do it my way. I will rest in the knowledge that sinner though I am, His grace is sufficient (abundantly so!) for me.

"X" Amount of Time and Energy

I can tell that my blogging will go in fits and spurts. Sometimes I am flooded with new insights and a desire to communicate, and other times I am filled with non-blog joys and struggles. On one hand, I want to write about things that God has taught me in the past... things I have never put down on paper and wish to preserve for myself and others. On the other hand, there is a stagnancy that comes from dwelling on the past and trying to re-experience it. What is God doing in my life NOW? If I look at the answer to this question, there is freshness. If I burden myself with trying to re-create old experiences, though I think there is a time for that, I can stunt the current work of grace God wishes to perform in my life (well, I can never truly stunt what God is doing... that is just what it feels like from my end of the experience).

One thing I am aware of lately, is that the Spirit never teaches me the exact same thing, in the same way, twice. As Aslan says in Prince Caspian (for those who don't know, Aslan represents, though not perfectly, Jesus) "things never happen the same way twice." Sometimes I expect God to keep meeting me the same way He once did, but what HE wants to do is meet me in a new and different way, progressing me forward in my knowledge of Him.

What is He teaching me NOW? It's in process, and I'm not fully able to articulate it, but it has to do with a "both/and" of God's character and the way that it plays out in my life. Dr. Ray Ortland Jr. was my pastor in Augusta, GA (early in my Christian walk), and he explained that great depth of knowledge of the character of God is revealed whenever we encounter a "both/and." This means that God is BOTH merciful, AND just for example. Or, BOTH the Lion, AND the Lamb. I love to encounter such tensions as I study the Bible, because in delving into them, I discover more about Him.

As I begin to write about my current "both/and" struggle, I go back to the title of this blog and recall the reason I have trouble putting my thoughts into words. Part of the reason, is the thoughts are still "in process". God has not taught me enough about the area I'm contemplating to put it into words (and that's OK Vicki, by golly, that's OK!). And part of the reason is reality... I have "X" amount of time and energy. And right now, I'm going to go watch a movie with my husband! Pray I will do well putting the right priorities first:).

So look out for whatever insights God sends my way about that and other "grace word pictures" (like part 2 of my "Jordan River" writing), whenever I get there!